Worse feeling in the world.
But you know what? It also makes you stronger because you learn to deal with it in your own ways. Many people say it's not good to bottle up your feelings, because it'll reach a point where you will finally explode.
I beg to differ.
The human mind is not a bottle. It is adaptive, and it knows how to survive. Train it long enough with sufficient amount of stress, and it will go from breaking point to stretching its limits. It continues to adapt if the same stress is thrown at it, till it eventually knows how to handle it.
But this also needs to be a conscious choice. One cannot just wait for it to happen. One has to make the conscious decision to adapt to the stress in order to become stronger.
If one doesn't have the willpower to adapt to the stress, the mind breaks and insanity sets in. Well, even at this point, there is still a chance of recovery. But allow the mind to fall into the abyss, and it gets harder and harder. The mind can still bounce back, it just becomes harder.
I know, because I have been to the point of insanity and back. I am after all, borderline. I thread the edge of psychosis and neurosis.
And having to bottle up so many things over the years, I have learned. It is hard. But I am a fighter. And I will come out stronger than before.
I will fight on.
